I have a confession to make; I'm so in love with myself that I spend a lot of money taking myself out to dinner and the movies and then if it all works out, I'd take myself to bed and then after that pass a cigarette back and forth, from my left hand to my right.
I recently met a woman who I really like but I'm afraid to get too involved with her, for fear that I'd be cheating on myself and morally, I just can't do that. . . Besides, I recently got engaged to myself and I'd hate to break it off. . . it would upset my parents who are planning on a big wedding. What should I do?
Signed, Mr. Nar Cissist
Dear Mr. Nar Cissist,
I can sympathize with you and understand your reasons for not wanting to break off the engagement but it is something you should do if you ever want to save face with all the solo artists out there who are wishing right now, that they would have stuck it out with the band versus going out on their own.
Or those who are in solitary confinement because they, too, thought that nobody else mattered but themselves. . . You have a disease and it's called necrophilia, oops, wrong one. . .it's called Narcissism. You are a fricking Narcissist and if you ever want to have children and make your parents proud, keep your hands to yourself, oops, remove your hands from yourself and do something else with them. . . And by the way, stay away from the reflecting pools.
Sincerely,
Dan (The Man) Landers
Seriously, narcissism or egotism begets selfishness, carelessness and lack of compassion for others.... "Before putting yourself on a pedestal, be sure you've earned that pedestal first."
And, loneliness could be a real curse, an impediment to a happy and healthy life....If you're feeling lonely, reach out.
