Caught With The Pants Down!

 Dear Dan Landers,

My name is Bobe Krybant and I am a member of the Lost Angel Dust Takers.  I was in Colorado recently getting a check up for a hard-on condition, er, I mean heart condition when the beautiful nurse came in the examining room to check my pulse and found me standing stark naked on the scale weighing out my options.

I was so in bare-assed, er, I mean embarrassed that I turned all red. The nurse never seeing a black man turn red thought I was having a cardiac arrest so she alarmed the entire staff with a "Code Blue."

The next thing you know everybody got to see my personal property, in which I'm not very proud of anyway. I feel if word gets out, it would harm my image and make me look more like a two-bit dribbler than the dunk-shot titan of a man they perceive me as being. What should I do?

Signed, Caught With My Pants Down


Dear Caught,

If I were you I'd change careers. Maybe you should start playing miniature golf instead.

Sincerely, Dan (The Man) Landers