Dear Dan (The Man) Landers.
I know that you are a smart dude, but I bet you didn't know that if I put a penny on the first square of a chessboard and doubled the amount of pennies on each adjacent square that after covering all the squares I'd have more money than Bill Gates. What do you say about that, hmm?
Signed, Buddy Boy!
Dear Buddy Boy,
All I have to say to you, Buddy Boy, is this: Where in the hell are you going to get a chessboard the size of Alaska?
Sincerely, Dan (The Man) Landers
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Monday, March 19, 2012
The Turn Around
Dearest Dan (The Man) Landers,
I am in a real dilemma and I need your advice. It seems that every time I turn around something bad happens. What should I do?
Signed Susie
Dear Susie,
My advice is simple - stop turning around!
Sincerely, Dan (The Man) Landers
I am in a real dilemma and I need your advice. It seems that every time I turn around something bad happens. What should I do?
Signed Susie
Dear Susie,
My advice is simple - stop turning around!
Sincerely, Dan (The Man) Landers
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Feeling Blue!
DEAR DAN LANDERS,
My name is Leroy Witherspoon. My father is black, my mother is white and I feel so blue. I guess you can say we're one heck of a patriotic family. Although we are perceived as such, I have an admission to make. I'm a bigot. I don't like blacks, don't like whites and as a matter of fact, I really don't like anybody except my girlfriend who is Eskimo. So far, I have nothing against Eskimos but I'm afraid I will after I meet my girlfriend's family. She wants to invite me to her igloo for a sit-down dinner with her mother and father but I'm afraid if I go, I'll let it on that I'm a bigot and my girlfriend's family will hate me. What do I do?
Signed, Blue
Dear Blue,
Bigotry is a form of ignorance. I'm not sure of your background except of your parent's race. I have ruled out inheriting your bigotry from your parents. Whatever the cause of your bigotry is a genuine concern and we have to get to the root of it. So, what I want you to do is write an essay on your early childhood. I'm sure you will discover there the basis of your bigotry. Seeing it on black and white is an eye-opener. I'm quite confident you'll see that your bigotry is baseless. Now, you will be able to meet your girlfriend's parents with confidence. And during your sit down dinner with them at their igloo, be sure you don't act like some hot ass. Just be yourself! No other need to break the ice!
P.S. For every ounce of ignorance there's an added pound of weight upon one's shoulders.
As a child, one of my favorite movies was "To Sir With Love." It helped to provide me with clearer eyes. With clearer eyes, I saw no difference in people because of color.
Sincerely, Dan (The Man) Landers - the real deal!
My name is Leroy Witherspoon. My father is black, my mother is white and I feel so blue. I guess you can say we're one heck of a patriotic family. Although we are perceived as such, I have an admission to make. I'm a bigot. I don't like blacks, don't like whites and as a matter of fact, I really don't like anybody except my girlfriend who is Eskimo. So far, I have nothing against Eskimos but I'm afraid I will after I meet my girlfriend's family. She wants to invite me to her igloo for a sit-down dinner with her mother and father but I'm afraid if I go, I'll let it on that I'm a bigot and my girlfriend's family will hate me. What do I do?
Signed, Blue
Dear Blue,
Bigotry is a form of ignorance. I'm not sure of your background except of your parent's race. I have ruled out inheriting your bigotry from your parents. Whatever the cause of your bigotry is a genuine concern and we have to get to the root of it. So, what I want you to do is write an essay on your early childhood. I'm sure you will discover there the basis of your bigotry. Seeing it on black and white is an eye-opener. I'm quite confident you'll see that your bigotry is baseless. Now, you will be able to meet your girlfriend's parents with confidence. And during your sit down dinner with them at their igloo, be sure you don't act like some hot ass. Just be yourself! No other need to break the ice!
P.S. For every ounce of ignorance there's an added pound of weight upon one's shoulders.
As a child, one of my favorite movies was "To Sir With Love." It helped to provide me with clearer eyes. With clearer eyes, I saw no difference in people because of color.
Sincerely, Dan (The Man) Landers - the real deal!
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